As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
