I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
