I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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