glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
