Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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