Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.