you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
