i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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