Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
