Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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