Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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