whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
