There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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