You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize