i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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