If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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