My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
