was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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