i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
