This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
