Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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