The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
