My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
