Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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