i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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