question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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