We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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