He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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