we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
