I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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