anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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