everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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