I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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