Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize