i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
