i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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