there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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