how can u be prego again
I just pynch a tree in the face
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize