i permit you to call me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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