coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
