i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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