Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
