If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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