Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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