She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
