I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
