i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
