yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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