I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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