We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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