I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
