Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
