3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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