I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
