She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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