What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize