I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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