I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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