I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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