i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize