last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
