words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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